Oh here she comes! Its a biggin.
Oh my, my.
The near one pound basket settled in on the section of table before me. Greasy, fried, golden brown. The 1 lb. plus fatty burger came tumbling after it. Those were just the fries- this was the burger- the Big Judd Challenge, the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, the who's who in the Burger world. One pound of beef patty, mustard and mayo and ketchup, wholesome cheddar cheese, get your gnarly flabby pickles out-o-here but extra on the lettuce please burger lay before me, a beautiful sight to behold. Our three- day cleanse had rounded up on Wednesday 12 midnight and we decided to celebrate- I had said no way to Thursday, I don't want to die- so Friday it was. What better way to end the cleansing your system than taking it to new heights and pushing its limits?
Parker got the double. He is a two time champion of the single. They say it has enough lard, grease, and fats to cork the aorta of 3 different men.
It crashed down on his side of table situated in the back room between walls of decorative americana. The crowd gasped, the women hid their children and everybody tried not to stare.
Ben said- Dude, when you finish that thing all the women in this room will want you.
Odd, as towards the end of his battle I specifically recall one girl running out of the room screaming- thats so disgusting!
Ben, Petit, and I all had the singles. Petit was first to finish after a mere 15 minutes. Ben was next at about 18. I was sipping back taking my time, and came up long of 30, the last bite alone taking a good 5 or so.
Parker continued strong, hitting the half way point on his beast at about the same time we did, his efforts were valiant, his speed remarkable.
And then he began to slow.
Earlier that week we had fostered our addiction to apple juice, drinking it every hour on the half hour. The prune juice had worked well to clean us out, and I got my water from the fountain in a one cup measuring cup to make sure I had the proportions up. The cleanse had been hard but well worth it. All that juice and no food surely had lead to the shrinking of our stomaches.
Hm. Shrunken stomach and two pounds of meat. Parker's face wasn't looking to hot. 2 minute bites. 3 min bites. 5 minutes, 7, 10, 12, 15 minute bites. The party table to our side was slowly clearing. Those women Ben had spoken of vacated. A few single pounders remained, dispersed throughout the venue. Long story short- the clock ticked away and he didn't finish.
Long story short he took a heroic trip to the outside snow. Long story short our picture of the single pounder completers is on the wall. Long story short we took a ride home with our windows cracked in uncomfortably cold weather. Long story short we stretched back our stomachs in the best way possible. Long story short I am regular.
Long story short- 3-day juice diet recommended.
Sheep go to Heaven. Goats go to Hell.
Oh my, my.
The near one pound basket settled in on the section of table before me. Greasy, fried, golden brown. The 1 lb. plus fatty burger came tumbling after it. Those were just the fries- this was the burger- the Big Judd Challenge, the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, the who's who in the Burger world. One pound of beef patty, mustard and mayo and ketchup, wholesome cheddar cheese, get your gnarly flabby pickles out-o-here but extra on the lettuce please burger lay before me, a beautiful sight to behold. Our three- day cleanse had rounded up on Wednesday 12 midnight and we decided to celebrate- I had said no way to Thursday, I don't want to die- so Friday it was. What better way to end the cleansing your system than taking it to new heights and pushing its limits?Parker got the double. He is a two time champion of the single. They say it has enough lard, grease, and fats to cork the aorta of 3 different men.
It crashed down on his side of table situated in the back room between walls of decorative americana. The crowd gasped, the women hid their children and everybody tried not to stare.
Ben said- Dude, when you finish that thing all the women in this room will want you.Odd, as towards the end of his battle I specifically recall one girl running out of the room screaming- thats so disgusting!
Ben, Petit, and I all had the singles. Petit was first to finish after a mere 15 minutes. Ben was next at about 18. I was sipping back taking my time, and came up long of 30, the last bite alone taking a good 5 or so.
Parker continued strong, hitting the half way point on his beast at about the same time we did, his efforts were valiant, his speed remarkable.And then he began to slow.
Earlier that week we had fostered our addiction to apple juice, drinking it every hour on the half hour. The prune juice had worked well to clean us out, and I got my water from the fountain in a one cup measuring cup to make sure I had the proportions up. The cleanse had been hard but well worth it. All that juice and no food surely had lead to the shrinking of our stomaches.
Hm. Shrunken stomach and two pounds of meat. Parker's face wasn't looking to hot. 2 minute bites. 3 min bites. 5 minutes, 7, 10, 12, 15 minute bites. The party table to our side was slowly clearing. Those women Ben had spoken of vacated. A few single pounders remained, dispersed throughout the venue. Long story short- the clock ticked away and he didn't finish.
Long story short he took a heroic trip to the outside snow. Long story short our picture of the single pounder completers is on the wall. Long story short we took a ride home with our windows cracked in uncomfortably cold weather. Long story short we stretched back our stomachs in the best way possible. Long story short I am regular.
Long story short- 3-day juice diet recommended.
Sheep go to Heaven. Goats go to Hell.
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