The Art of the “Doctrine Throw Down” (Day 17)

The Art of the “Doctrine Throw Down”

I thought a lot about my topic for my guest appearance on Mr. Simons' illustrious blog. While I had plenty of interesting ideas, what I really wanted was something that would capture the core of our mission experiences together. Once I had that angle in mind it wasn’t difficult to see that what was needed was an explanation of what Simons and I call a ‘Doctrine Throw Down’. Having never actually been companions, the then Elder Simons and I took part in these ‘bashes’ during splits and various zone conferences throughout both of our missions. 

So what is a ‘Doctrine Throw Down’ then? Well, actually there are three different types: the hardcore lds doctrine exploration, philosophical speculation, and last but not least ‘apostate smack-down’. Each of these subgenres deserves a little explication of its own.

Hardcore Doctrine Exploration: This is the most common and frequent type of all.  It consists of talking about and seeking to better understand the writings of LDS scripture, general authorities, and scholars. It can be either peaceful or involve the debate of disagreed doctrinal points. Simons and myself were usually in concordance on the majority of issues, so the debate side of things usually didn’t occur. A word of caution- doctrine know-it-alls (like a certain secretary turned AP from our mission whose name shall remain anonymous) can completely spoil your endeavors. Deep doctrinal discussions are more fruitful those with a solid understanding of the gospel, but your best bet is to throw it down with individuals who have the humility not to derail the discussion with their pompous recitations of the Journal of Discourses. Of all the three throw downs this is certainly the one that leads to the most practical and applicable knowledge.

Philosophical Speculation: As the name suggests, we are dealing here with something far removed from any notion of practicality. This is where interesting connections between the Gospel and other belief systems can be discovered and obscure points of interest can be pursued. While such discussions can be glorious and extremely spiritual, such as Simons' and my conversation about the applications of Kierkegaards “The Crowd is Untruth”, this version of the throw down is the most likely to get bogged down in nonsense. Interesting discussions of this sort can easily swerve into silly things like ‘were dinosaurs on the ark?’, ‘what’s the deal with Cain and Bigfoot?’, ‘do the three nephites wear modern clothing?’, ’what kind of animals will you make when you’re a God?’(an utterly blasphemous and stupid question to be throwing around flippantly) and other such things. And it only takes one over eager “Tennis Shoes among the Nephites” or “Twilight” aficionado to make you never want to compare a doctrine to a work of fiction for the rest of your life. 

Apostate Smack-Down: This only really happened once with Simons and I but it was sufficiently epic to deserve mention. It was New Year’s night. Being in the same house for the occasion Simons and I took it upon ourselves to not join in the others in their festivities (there really isn’t that much intense party stuff to do as a full time missionary anyway) and started in our usual doctrinal discussions. This time things took a turn of exceeding awesomeness however, when we raised the question “What false doctrines do many members commonly hold?” The result was an entire night long of running through and deconstructing all the heresies we could think of in the hallowed tradition of Bruce R. McConkies’ “Seven Deadly Heresies”. I don’t have space to go into everything; a few of the more interesting points we raised will suffice.

Heresy: We all chose our family members specifically in the pre-mortal life. This heresy is particularly imbedded within LDS culture because so many of us are brought up with some sort of version of this same theme. Out of all the points that could be raised against this heresy, the best is that simply it cannot be found in any of the Standard Works or doctrinally binding statements by church leaders. Our first Mission President, the illustrious President Silva, raised the interesting question “If everyone got to pick their families, why would anyone not pick to be born into the Covenant?” A better way of looking at this idea is to say that God picked our families and we got to sustain His decisions in the same way that we sustain our General Authorities.

Heresy: God is always learning and will never come to a fullness of knowledge. You might be surprised how prevalent this heresy is among members. I need say little on the topic for great doctrinal expounders such as Joseph Fielding Smith and Neil A. Maxwell have destroyed this heresy from about every angle already. Basically, if God did not have all knowledge He couldn’t be God. 

Heresy: Captain Moroni acted immorally in putting those to death who would not bow down to the standard of truth. Come on people!!!!!!! Are you trying to sound ridiculous? The Book of Mormon specifically says that if all men were like unto Moroni, Satan would have no power. What the fetch else do you need?!?

Heresy: Those who go to the Telestial or Terrestrial kingdoms will be able to progress upwards until theoretically everyone will be Celestialized. The idea of such a thing is an utter mockery of all the commandments and the sacrifice that Christ made in Gethsemane. Members who espouse such nonsense do not realize that they are in effect rooting for the plan of Lucifer in which everyone will be saved eventually.

Heresy: Parents who reach exaltation will be able to lift their unrighteous children up to the Celestial kingdom. Um……..I am staggered that anyone can accept such an idea. This stems from a misunderstanding of an admittedly hard to understand statement by Joseph F. Smith.  Yet that’s not excuse for espousing doctrine which completely undermines every principle of the Gospel. If such were the case then if Adam and Even reached exaltation then none of us needs to worry about anything because they will be able to start an exaltation lifting chain that will save all of us. How ludicrous. 

Well there you have it. I know that the few of you who made it through this whole post are now chomping at the bit to get a throw down going. As long as you use good judgment you can have yourself a good’ole time. Perhaps the throw down won’t be as awesome without a cacau to eat as you walk around the beautiful scenery of Bahia, nor will it be as enjoyable without a Jaca waiting for you when you get home. But we can all make the best of what we’ve got. Enjoy!